Grief, loss & Faith - Sunday Morning Meeting Notes..2-07-21 - In honor of "Brother Marvin" who just lost his brother.....

Sunday Notes..

Its natural when we feel the pressures of life, lockdowns and the fear of covid , and when facing diseases, we usually feel helpless. As a Christian, how should we face all the kinds of difficulties in life? The Testimony of Faith—Relying on God and Gaining the Right Path to Walk has benefited me greatly.. These are perilous times and we fear for our loved ones daily and pray that they will be kept safe each day as they go about their daily lives working for the family or helping out friends and or neighbours.. But when we lose a loved one , regardless of our faith it changes our lives forever… Grief can be overwhelming and sometimes for a Christian can be overshadowed and compounded by an element of guilt as our faith is being tested; possibly as it has not been tested before…

Before I go any further today I want to share with our brother Marvin, who we all love, something that was sent also to me when I lost my brother… When I first read it I was grieving for the loss of a brother than I wanted to emulate as I grew up. He was 10 years older then myself.. For good or bad I wanted to be just like him… He was my big brother. Anyway this was mine to keep in my heart and now I share it with you also.. It is address to our brothers.. It goes like this…

Dear Bro..

You left me behind way too soon..

but

You're still here in my heart and mind,

still making me laugh because your stories live on.

I hold you in a thought and I can feel you.

I feel you and this gives me strength and courage.

The tears I have cried for you could flood the earth,

and I know you have wiped each one away from wherever you are at this moment in time.

For you Brother, I promise you this,

I will ensure that my life, going forward, will make you proud.

I will always hold you in my heart.

I promise you I will be missing you every day till the end of time,

but this is not my end and I can't hold my head underwater.

I need to breathe.

I need to love and miss you,

but I also need to live because through me you will live also,

you will still laugh and love,

you will still sing and maybe dance, if only in my head,

you will still hug and kiss.

You will forever be in my life,

you will forever be a brother,

a son,

an uncle

and friend.

I am going to miss your shining face

I think of you and wonder why?

I might cry or smile,

but at the end of the day,

you are still and always be, in my heart , in my prayers and in my life..… I love you. God bless your journey…..

As I was saying Grief can be overwhelming and sometimes for a Christian can be overshadowed and compounded by an element of guilt as our faith is being tested; possibly as it has not been tested before… Many of us feel that we need to have more faith anyway so this test can shake us in many ways..

I have had several people ,over the years, all well-intentioned friends and ministers, who have thrown little quips at those who were morning a loss, when they are grieving, to help them ‘move on’: “those who believe need not grieve”. Needless to say, they have been feeling some frustration and conflict about this comment. I was considering what the source of this anecdote might be, and it seems it could be connected to the Bible passage 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.”

I want to share with you today that

It is not that your grief and your faith should be separate quite the contrary. What is always important to remember is that the depth of your grief does not imply a loss of faith.

When a person of deep faith loses someone, it is important to remember that grief is about their own experience of loss, it is not a pain or sympathy for where their loved one is. It is perfectly reasonable that one believes their loved one is in a better place, and still to feel overwhelmed with the pain of being separated from them. Further, one can believe in a greater plan, while still experiencing the pain of their absence. It is not selfish to grieve, it is not a loss of faith. It is a normal reaction to a devastating situation that can co-exist with the comfort of one’s faith and spirituality.

Faith communities, like ours, should be a place of comfort and support in times of loss. Thankfully for many they are. But not every faith community brings this support. Some bring judgment and criticism for the emotions of grief, fixating on the idea that grief and faith cannot co-exist. Some are left feeling their grief has been minimized or misunderstood when they are not allowed to express their grief emotions. This only serves to isolate any grieving man or woman and intensifies the grief… Consider that grieving the separation or death of someone you love can exist along with a faith that they are in a better place and that you will see them again.